Sunday, March 24, 2013

Today, I'm...

...learning about the "new me" in the "new normal."

...dry-eyed in the Target baby aisle, but breaking down in a restaurant.

...anxious to know what happened. What the hell happened. _If_ we can find out...

...still excited to find out the gender. Then sad that I'm excited. Then darn it, I'm excited anyway; I want to name my baby...

...wanting to hold my baby still. To curl up beside wherever they are keeping him/her in the lab. To scream at them to be more gentle, more careful, more sensitive. Because it's my heart. grateful for my husband. More than ever before.

...stunned by the generous, super-thoughtful, overwhelming response of ridiculously amazing friends. Feeling guilty getting so much care. And very grateful.

...staring at nothing. Understanding little.

...forgetting how to sing at church.

...laughing for the first time since I found out. Because my girls are so funny! Trying to show you the video here of Felicity performing spontaneous liturgical dance in the cry room to "Were You There."  Doesn't look like the link wants to work today though, ah well...

...feeling like I have nothing left to fear.

...taking nothing for granted.

...knowing my baby's okay now. And that I will be too.

...believing that God is bigger than all of this. Knowing He loves my baby even more than I do. Loving Him for that.

1 comment:

  1. Hugs and prayers! You seem so strong...glad you are able to laugh a little.