Thankfully, I'm better at this than I once was. When I first lost my baby, anywhere I had been before--when she was still alive--was hard to go back to. Anywhere or anything that connected the happy before with the much sadder "now." Now that I pretty much have been everywhere and seen everyone that I had while I carried her, the constant before/after triggers seem thankfully behind me.
I'm nervous about going through my first round of holidays without her. And I'm dreading the cold weather for the first time. I carried her from the fall through the long winter last year; she left me when the first whispers of spring were rustling the buds, just before it got warm. I'm so sorry she never got to feel the sun. I find myself disliking what was once my favorite season, the fall that leads to my first winter since she went away. Here's big sis loving the leaves; I thank God every day for their contagious joy. :)