I messed up guys. It's almost Christmas, and after four liturgical weeks of beautiful prophecies and readings and reflective prayers handed to me on an advent wreath, I'm still not ready. Like at all.
Family issues, some illness, and some real drama distracted me. Real drama. Second week of Advent was consumed by Nutcracker performance for one child and Alice in Wonderland for another... okay fine maybe I mentioned that already. Then there was the tragedy of Newtown to distract me from the norm. And just this weekend, the one I had nothing planned for, my girls were stand-ins for a local production of the Christmas Carol. (No, I'm not a pageant mom, thank you.)
Anyway I'm excited and proud and overwhelmed and exhausted. And so not ready for Christmas.
The house is a mess. I bought way too much. Stuff I need is still not delivered. The cards aren't sent(again). The gifts aren't wrapped. The Advent links didn't really happen. And now my girls remind me I promise to bake cookies.
I did manage to go to confession yesterday, but was adding to my list the whole way there: yelling at everyone to get out the door on time, annoyed at the guy who cut me in line. Who knew getting to Reconciliation was a near occasion of sin??
In all this I can't find baby Jesus. No, literally. Looks like we'll be using the plastic, chubby, toy of the Divine Infant from our Little People Nativity.
I know He will come anyway, and find a manger in this busy family's life. We love Him and need Him here, especially in our distractedness. I can't comprehend Easter this side of the grave but as a mom, Jesus as a baby is so wonderfully approachable.
Welcome, dearest little Lord. Thank you for coming, for your light and peace. Send wise men to help me make final decision on gifts. Shepherds to guide my heart back to thoughts of you in my chaos. Your mother to show me how to hold You to my heart. Veni veni, Emmanuel. - TLC
Christ our King, come to our aid!